Animal Facts

  • Size and Weight:
    3,500 – 6,000 pounds, 17-30 feet long, roughly 2 meters high.
  • Natural Habitat:
    The open plains of Oklahoma in plain view
  • Why hasn’t anyone else ever seen this animal:
    Because it’s too &%$#ing obvious
  • Favorite Activities:
    Charging furiously through the rolling prairie
  • Emotional State/Personality:
    Total Drama Queen. Fond of close-ups. In it for the attention. Not an actual threat.

Your best option when encountering this creature:
It wants to flirt with you, just for kicks. Might as well go with the flow.