Animal Facts

• Size and Weight:
  3,500 – 6,000 pounds, 17-30 feet long, roughly 2 meters high.
  
• Natural Habitat:
  The open plains of Oklahoma in plain view
• Why hasn’t anyone else ever seen this animal:
  Because it’s too &%$#ing obvious
• Favorite Activities:
  Charging furiously through the rolling prairie
• Emotional State/Personality:
  Total Drama Queen. Fond of close-ups. In it for the attention. Not an actual threat.

Your best option when encountering this creature:
It wants to flirt with you, just for kicks. Might as well go with the flow.

Animal Facts:

• General Info:
  Known to sleep in dimly lit parking lots.
• Emotional State/Personality:
  Not really interested in playing with you right now because it just woke up and feels mostly disoriented and alarmed by your attempts to friend it.
• Special Powers:
  Morphs from goofy looking cartoon to semi realistic looking animal throughout the course of your interaction.

Your best options when encountering this creature:
1. Let it go back to sleep.
(Nope, not an option. You have grabby impulse control problems and continue to pursue this animal until it has to fly off to find somewhere else to sleep.)
2. Insist on making friends with a terrified creature that you just rudely woke up.
(Yes. This is what you will do.)